This season culturally tells us there are so many things to do, right? ::PRESENTS MONEY MAIL DECORATIONS BAKE HOLIDAY PARTIES STOCKINGS DON’T FORGET TO ORDER THAT TOY IN TIME::
It’s crazy and it feels crazy. It’s not a revelatory notion to say that the winter season can show us how to slow down, how to rest, how to stop without being stagnant. More than that, this season can also show us how to trust that we have safe passage to do so.
The years get quicker and quicker as I get older and what I know to be true is that the new year, the new season, the determined buds punching through the snow will be here sooner than I think. We’ll do the same, it can be that simple. No stories live inside the flower about how much of a fat loser they were when it was freezing and dry and dark for those few months. I get that we aren’t flowers but goddamn maybe we can appreciate the fucking lesson and not hate on ourselves so much, perhaps even enjoy the vibe.
That’s super hard, I get it, because I too have fallen victim to the idea that there just isn’t a growth or evolution that doesn’t require sacrifice - and while I personally believe exchange is wholly necessary and feels like sacrifice via conscious choice, that’s not the issue. The issue is sacrifice for so many carries the connotation of suffering, going without, hardship, proving your capacity to endure.
I no longer accept that. I will not scrape my knees across rocky hillsides when it is as holy, when I am as holy, walking on my feet with the appropriate shoes on.
What we want requires action, and right action (in alignment with reality which gets more straightforward with any consistent awareness practice) isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean we have to struggle and strive and pant and wail. At some point - and you don’t have to agree of course - this is nothing more than self-indulgence and attention-seeking behavior. Look at me and how hard I’m working! That energy feeds only itself, not the grander projects of an intentional and creative existence, which IS the art of being human. Nothing has to get done besides the next breath, everything else is (both wonderfully and not) entirely made up.
But it’s hard to slow down. We are used to a certain way of living, fortified by the arbitrary but powerful structures around us that scream our worth is only as good as the money we make, the hours we work for someone else, the amount of to dos we get done. So it feels like we’re choosing failure or, GASP, mediocrity.
What’s the point of this ramble? On these darkest days of the year maybe we can lean into the potential of trust. Trusting that we are supposed to be tired when it’s dark (circadian rhythm, anyone?) which inevitably means we will rest for more hours of the day than we do in the summer which inevitably means we will do fewer things in this season overall. Not only is this ok, it’s beneficial. We need time and space to reconnect, to reflect, to consider, to appreciate, and to dream. We need to be able to see clearly where our focus is and has been, and how that has impacted our lives, before we compound more doing on top of it all.
What we focus on expands, and our interpretation, our receiving of the world around us and within us, biases our focus (focus on green cars and you will see thousands, focus on opportunities for collaboration and you will find interesting people). Again not revelatory, it’s been said by many throughout human history BUT - what does it mean to you? What are your focal points? Not just the easy stuff like your dutiful(ish) practices and obligations, but also your day dreams and invasive thoughts and one-sided internal arguments. Get real, with love, as you consider what are the center pieces of your existence?
Our exhaustion is real. Our winding down is real. Our need for stillness is real. More than that, it’s natural. The earth, the rock which we evolved on and literally pulls us towards its center, is our mirror! Imbibe yourself in the reflection, consider it a request or even an expectation for harmony, balance, and eventually, renewal and rebirth. The next iteration of you and your life is waiting beyond it’s threshold.
So my well wish for you, and for the global community, is to rest. Linger. Yawn without shame. Say no without guilt. Snooze the alarm one more time. Call in sick (DO IT) and stay in your jammies all damn day. You deserve it, end statement.
